


Choose

by Impala_Cherry_Trickster



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Canon Era, Confused Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine Being Gwaine (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Mutual Pining, Screw Destiny, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:01:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25858600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impala_Cherry_Trickster/pseuds/Impala_Cherry_Trickster
Summary: Merlin's upset, mostly because Gwaine pointed out that he'd always choose to protect Arthur over anything else. He never thought he'd actually have to choose
Relationships: Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 355





	Choose

He was not happy. In all fairness, it was entirely his own fault. Merlin urged his horse onwards, trying to keep up with the Knights as they moved through the woods. It was supposed to be a hunt, and usually, that would be enough to keep the Knights’ cheerful. Instead, a strange silence had fallen among them.

Merlin looked across to Gwaine, felt his heart clench as he did so. It was the rebellious Knight that was the cause of his pain, but only because he’d pointed out the truth. That Merlin would always pick Arthur, for as long as time went on, because it was his Destiny. It didn’t matter that Merlin’s heart told him that he wanted the company of Gwaine, it only mattered that his Magic was solely focused on Arthur.

He thought that having Arthur know about his Magic would make all his problems go away. It hadn't. It made the Knights fiercely protective over him, led Arthur to shout at Merlin for days on end about how reckless he had been. It led to Merlin trying to pursue his interests in Gwaine, only for the Knight to point out that his loyalty would always be to the King of Camelot.

It was true. Merlin knew it, had lost enough people to know that his Magic would always choose Arthur. First Will, then Freya, and Balinor, and lastly, Morgana. That one burned the most, the loss of the Witch/friend/enemy that he had gone after, just because she’d been targeting Camelot. He couldn’t let it happen, not with Gwen and Arthur’s relationship finally progressing, not with everything he’d worked to save.

So, Gwaine had placed a hand on his shoulder, a weak smile that didn’t reach his eyes playing across his expression.

‘Merls, mate, you know how I feel about you. But I know what comes first for you, and that’s okay.’ Those words, enough to make Merlin curl up in his bed and cry for hours. Gaius had tried to check on him, only for Merlin to completely ignore his mentor, too afraid of the lecture that would come.

Ever since he came to Camelot, he had been told that protecting Arthur was his life mission. So why did his heart ache so much, every time he looked across to Gwaine?

The Knight, like he could sense Merlin’s thoughts, looked back over his shoulder. The smile was a genuine one, and Merlin felt his cheeks flush from the attention. Was it so bad, to have to spend so much time with the man he adored, but knowing he could never have?

‘Stop moping, Merlin. If we didn’t kill animals, we wouldn’t have any food.’ Arthur, never astute about what Merlin was really feeling, piped up. The manservant forced a laugh, clicking his tongue to his horse and catching up to Arthur’s side.

Destiny came first, after all.

**

He watched the Knights bicker, stirring the stew he’d made as they lay out the bedrolls for the night. Usually, he’d do such a thing with Magic, but his heart wasn’t in the right place to perform Magic at the moment. It didn’t help that Gwaine had ruffled his hair earlier, or praised him for his reaction when Arthur lobbed a wineskin at his head.

His Magic prickled up, just like it did every time his mind strayed to Gwaine, and the Warlock tried to swallow it down. Ignoring the feeling, he continued to the stir the stew, even if it was a little aggressive.

Why should Arthur get to be happy, when Merlin was the one that had protected him for all these years? He grimaced, stabbing at the pot with a frown.

‘Easy, Merls, the pot didn’t do… Merlin!’ The second half had his head shooting up, only to see the very concerned faces of all of the Knights as they reached for weapons.

He was about to turn, when something hit him around the head, and he promptly fell over in the direction of the fire. Luckily, he landed in the leaves, and he let his eyes shut.

**

Iron. Whoever they were, they knew what he was. He snarled, lips curling up as he tried to fight the restrains that pinned him down. The clearing was filled with the men, not quite bandits, and Merlin concluded they were bounty Hunters. Elyan, Leon, Lancelot and Percival were tied up to trees at the moment, gagged and bound, trying desperately to wiggle free from them.

Gwaine had fought a lot more, mostly to try and get to Merlin, which the Warlock would have found heart-warming, had it not ended with him having a sword pressed to his throat. Arthur was in a similar situation, hands tied behind his back and a sword against his throat.

‘Are we sure that’s him? He’s a little… scrawny.’ Merlin growled, or would have done, had he not been gagged like the others. The chains around him kept his hands pinned behind his back, the collar burning into his skin as he tried to access his Magic. They had carvings on them, and he concluded that they were to further restrain his Magic.

‘That’s him. The King’s pet Warlock, Emrys, or whatever they called him.’ The Leader came across, gripped his chin and dug nails into hi skin harshly. Gwaine and Arthur both made a sound at that, whereas Merlin just glared.

‘They say that your powerful, kid.’ He wasn’t a child. And he was powerful, even if he couldn’t access his Magic right now. The gag was unclipped, removed enough for Merlin to smirk.

‘Take me out of the iron, and find out.’ That resulted in a laugh from the other men around the clearing, the Leader chuckling.

‘Snappy. I like it.’ The gag was replaced, before the Leader turned back to his men, ordering them to send a scout to the next group up.

‘Let them know we’ve got Emrys. As for the King and his Knights…’ Merlin watched as the Leader turned, eyeing them up.

‘They could make a pretty penny. But we’ve got the boy, so the others can just be killed.’ Usually, Arthur was the prize. He was worth a lot, to anybody trying to upset the peace in Albion. Merlin was just his manservant, or had been, until he’d announced his Magic. Word had spread of the Warlock at Arthur’s side, and he was beginning to regret it.

‘If that Knight doesn’t shut up,’ He was looking at Gwaine, who was staring right at Merlin, ‘I’m going to kill him.’ That had Merlin fighting against the iron again, the Leader glancing between them.

‘I’ve got a fun game to play.’ He drawled, moving across to Arthur. The King glared, but didn’t fight the hand that ran through his hair.

‘Let’s play which one?’ Merlin paused, staring at the bounty Hunter in confusion.

‘Well, Emrys? Which one do you want alive?’

For a moment, he couldn’t breathe. It was like the air in his lungs had been punched out of him, leaving behind the ache of his heart as he stared in confusion.

The hand in Arthur’s hair tugged on the blond locks, revealing the pale skin of Arthur’s neck. The sword pressed deeper into the skin, until the faintest trace of blood beaded up.

‘Your King…’ He released Arthur’s hair, gripping Gwaine instead,

‘Or the Knight?’

Merlin had done so well to hide how he felt about Gwaine. To keep it buried, so that even he was confused about his own emotions. But now, staring at the sword that pressed deeper, he didn’t know what to do.

‘The fact that you hesitated proves how fun this is going to be.’ He clapped his hands together, stepping back so he stood between Arthur and Gwaine, while Merlin just stared.

‘I’m going to take the gag off. Once I do, you’ve got three seconds to decide. Otherwise, I kill them both.’

He was crying. It was rather stupid, really, trying to thrash about in the chains that kept him restrained, attempting to break free in time to save the both of them. From the trees, the other Knights were looking horrified.

Arthur was staring at him, ever calm, trying to stop Merlin’s panic. Gwaine was smiling, even if it was sad, and it made everything worse. The two of them, so ready to die for the other, to die because Merlin was always the one that had to make the harsh decisions.

The Leader nodded to one of his men, a hand reaching for the gag, and it was unclipped.

‘Please…’

‘One.’ He was cut off, and Merlin sucked in air as he tried to plead.

Arthur, or Gwaine?

‘Two.’ Merlin begged, shouted at him and cursed until his throat felt raw.

Destiny, or his heart?

‘Three.’ Merlin screwed his eyes shut, and in the end, the word slipped free before he could even stop it.

‘Gwaine.’

Silence. Merlin could hear his own heart, hammering away in his chest, and he dared to open his eyes.

Gwaine was staring right back at him, lost, confused, and Merlin could understand. Arthur’s lips were drawn back, shocked features clearly on display, and the Warlock wondered what he’d just done.

Destiny wasn’t supposed to be cheated, yet he’d just chosen Gwaine over Arthur.

‘I wasn’t expecting that.’ The leader said, whistling as he looked between them.

‘Guess Emrys isn’t only loyal to his King.’ Laughter. The men were laughing, but Merlin was still tasting the word on his lips.

Gwaine.

He’d picked the Knight, and it made his whole body ache.

‘Kill the Knight.’ Merlin might have screamed, the moment the sword moved. He watched as it caught the fading sun, glinting back into Merlin’s eyes as it moved cleanly through Gwaine’s chest. The Knight gasped, right around the time that the sky above them darkened, before his body pitched forwards into the dirt.

He was still screaming. Screaming, because the iron chains around him were glowing, molten as his Magic burned. People were shouting at him, the Leader coming forward with his sword, but all Merlin could see was Gwaine’s dead body.

Dead.

Merlin had picked Gwaine, and Destiny had told him he was wrong.

The chains broke, molten iron dripping to the forest floor as his hands reached out, gripping into the dirt and he let go of the restraints on his Magic.

The first man went flying, while the Leader screamed as vines wrapped around his ankles. His prayers for the earth to respond worked, the ground cracking open as he pumped his Magic into it, demanded that blood be spilled to pay for what had happened.

He crawled to his Knight, gripped at Gwaine’s jacket and tugged him over. Pale skin, the hole in his chest a dark red, and Merlin’s Magic demanded vengeance.

His Magic, that should have been tending to Arthur, but was instead focused on Gwaine.

The Warlock needed energy, he realised. Laying Gwaine’s head down carefully, he shuffled up onto his knees, tipped his head back to the sky.

Around him, the earth was still tearing apart the bounty hunters. There were pleas, cries for him to stop, but Merlin did none of those things. He looked back to the storm, and summoned the power it held.

Lightning raced across the sky, quicker than a blink of the eye, and it struck his skin just as he’d expected. Racing over him, burning far hotter than his Magic, but Merlin did not fight. It scorched every nerve, filled his veins with power that he’d never had access to before, and then he looked to his hands.

They danced with sparks of Magic, of lightning, and Merlin realised he’d made the world around them dark. The sun was blocked out, the only source of light being him, glowing with the lightning wrapped around his skin.

He placed both hands to Gwaine’s chest, let out a guttural roar as his Magic left his body in a rush. Every inch of his being, all that he had, channelling into the sword-wound until the skin pieced itself back together. One last strike of lightning, which left a tiny mark where the sword had hit, before Merlin felt the heartbeat under his hands. A steady rise and fall of Gwaine’s chest, the Knight gasping back to life, and Merlin backed away.

The Leader of the bounty Hunters was strung up by vines, his limbs currently being torn apart, but Merlin couldn’t find it in him to care. Because Gwaine was staring at him, and Merlin was still crying, but also still sparking. The storm rumbled overhead, reminding Merlin of the power he had wrapped around his body.

‘Merls.’ One word, and Merlin’s smile was back on his face. He didn’t hesitate to rush forwards, to demand Gwaine’s affection, and the Knight didn’t stop it.

Rain began to fall, right as the streaks of blue on his skin began to fade, and Gwaine pressed his lips right to Merlin’s.

His Magic had never been happier.


End file.
